I am only able to take on new online clients.
I am only able to take on new online clients.
You may have experienced a bereavement; through the death of a loved one, a family member, a child, a friend, a pet; which has left you questioning your purpose in life; maybe even questioning what life is all about now, after everything has changed for you. You may have been bereaved by suicide and feel very confused by this sudden event and need some help to manage the emotions, that often show themselves in this situation. These can feel overwhelming at times.
You may be finding it difficult to find any motivation for life, maybe you are neglecting yourself, because it seems pointless doing anything anymore. You may be experiencing a range of emotions like extreme sadness, anger, guilt, regret; there may be unfinished business that means you feel like you cannot grieve properly.
Many people find they manage ok, when they are affected by a bereavement; but many also find this a real struggle. This is especially so if you have no-one to talk to, have limited support around you, as the bereavement can increase feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Counselling can help you explore the anger, the regrets, the sadness, the fear you feel and find more positive ways of managing these powerful emotions.
Counselling can help you find the glimmer of hope for the future and help you to build on this so you feel more able to live your life.
Death is of course a massive loss, that we are all likely to experience at some stage in our lives, but loss can affect us in many other ways and this can also feel really difficult to manage. We don't always naturally think that some of the things that happen to us are losses, until we start counselling and it is highlighted.
Other losses which can be helped by counselling are things like:
When you are going through a separation or a divorce and your sense of self is affected....
When you get made redundant or you retire and you question what your role is now....
Moving home and leaving your family and friends behind can mean the loss of your support networks and your security....
For some parents the loss associated with children leaving home can be a very difficult time, as you feel unsure what your role is now.....
This life events can also leave you feeling unsure about yourself and confused about how you can move forward now.
If the loss is due to a relationship breaking down, then you may be unsure how you will manage as a single person and worry about your self-confidence. You may worry about trusting someone again and fear you will remain alone. You may feel some relief that the relationship has ended; but feel unsure what to do next.
All losses, in one way or another, can have a big impact on how you feel about your life and about yourself.
Counselling can help to support you with the grieving process that you are experiencing and help you understand this a little more.
Counselling can help you begin to find yourself again, help you to consider what you want and need, to be happy.
Being in a safe relationship with your counsellor can be powerful and can support you to begin to feel ok about yourself again.
You may be experiencing issues or challenges, within your family, or in other close relationships. Maybe you have stopped really talking to each other about what matters.... maybe you feel like you are distant from each other and struggling to connect..... maybe there has been changes in a close relationship (separation/divorce), that has had an impact on others in the family. You may be struggling to make sense of what's happening, what's changed......
Maybe you feel frustrated as you want to tell people how you feel or what you want; but feel unable to approach them and voice your needs....
Maybe you find yourself constantly apologising; but are not sure what you have actually done wrong....
You may be experiencing conflict at work which is increasing stress and anxiety and you are finding it hard to concentrate because of this.
You may be unhappy about how you feel about yourself and how this affects your relationships, maybe you feel you have low self-esteem for example.
Counselling can help you to explore these relationships and look at the different dynamics in these.
Counselling can help you to look at your view of yourself and understand where this comes from. We can then look at what you feel are your strengths and explore who you are and what values you hold.
Counselling can help you see what patterns have developed, that may be influencing this. Counselling can help you to consider how to communicate your feelings and needs and help you to find strategies for building your relationships; so you feel more able to speak and be heard.
It can be helpful to consider any conflicts in your relationships with an unbiased person and explore the possible reasons for these. This can help you to see a way forward towards resolution, where possible.
Relationships can also be affected by the death of friends and family members, as this changes the dynamics within families and groups, which can feel confusing.
Counselling can help you to unravel things so you can begin to see more clearly. This supports you to then consider how this affects you and what you may be able to do, about the challenges you are facing.
Illness and health problems can be really challenging to cope with and manage at any time; but when you are diagnosed with a chronic condition, a life limiting condition or a terminal illness then trying to get your head around this can be really tough.
Some conditions will mean having to make significant changes to how you live your life, which can lead to a lot of sadness and frustration, as you try and accept this diagnosis and what it means for you. A health condition will also often affect your close relationships and may affect your ability to be intimate for example. A health condition can affect others around you too, in some ways; which can cause lots of other emotions, associated with this knock-on effect.
It may be that it is a family member or child that has the health problem and you are looking for support because of the impact this is having on you. It can sometimes feel very lonely caring for someone who is ill or who lives with chronic condition.
It may be you have been coping well for a long time with a chronic condition like diabetes, arthritis, but there has been a change, which means you are struggling to cope now.
You may have just been diagnosed, or be living with a terminal illness and want to talk about how you feel about this, with someone outside of your family or healthcare team.
In all situations, it is not uncommon to feel many difficult emotions and to feel anger and sadness about this.
Counselling can help you to access support to explore the losses associated with this condition for you and for others close to you.
Counselling can help you in gaining a degree of acceptance about the limitations the condition brings by exploring alternatives and by listening to your sadness and grief.
Counselling can help you to begin to work towards adjustment; whatever that means for your illness in your unique circumstances.
Counselling can help you to express your fears and worries about dying and can explore any strategies that may help you to prepare for and manage the time you have left.
Anxiety can be extremely distressing to live with.
It may be you are experiencing generalised anxiety, which you find hard to explain and even harder to control. You may have anxiety of a more specific nature and want help to try and work on this particular issue, e.g. social anxiety. You may find that anxiety affects your ability to live your life in the way you would like to and you want to try and find ways to begin changing this.
I find sometimes that where there are feelings of anxiety, there are often feelings of depression, so sometimes we will need to look at both challenges in counselling. Where this is the case, we would begin by focusing on the issue that is causing the greatest distress.
Counselling can help you to explore the patterns of the anxiety and the associated behaviours that are affecting your life.
Counselling can help you to challenge your way of thinking, that can sometimes be unproductive and begin to consider the possibility of more positive options for yourself.
Counselling can help you explore some of the underlying causes of the anxiety and explore some associated beliefs you are living with, that are reinforcing the anxiety and the behaviours.
Counselling can help you to find some strategies to reduce the activity of the nervous system; which is usually working on overdrive when you have anxiety.
Living with depression can be very difficult, as the lack of motivation you feel, can make you feel lower in mood and this then reduces motivation further. it can be difficult to get up in the morning, so your work life may be affected. Relationships may be affected, as you find it difficult to muster up enthusiasm for any social activities. This can add to stresses and pressures; which can then add further to the depressed feelings. Although people can feel depressed without also having issues with anxiety; I have found that these 2 issues often occur together. Therefore when we have an initial consultation we will try and establish if this is happening for you or not.
When you are feeling really depressed, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed and this can for some people lead to suicidal thoughts. This can be frightening to experience for you. It is often important when accessing counselling for depression to be open with your GP and to share information about prescribed medication with your counsellor.
NB: If you are feeling very distressed now and unsure how to cope; and/or you are feeling suicidal then call the Samaritans now for support. Alternatively call your GP or NHS 111, or go to your local A&E. Do not suffer in silence and alone, reach out and get help now from these 24hr services.
Counselling can help you with these experiences and help to reduce the feeling of overwhelm; through being able to share your troubles with someone else.
Counselling can help you to consider the stresses which may be adding to your problems and considering if there are any possible solutions for these.
Counselling can help you to look at how you are thinking and the associated behaviours which the thinking leads to, which may be making your mood worse.
Counselling can help you to begin the process of looking 'up and out', seeing the world and how it looks to others; instead of looking 'down and in', which can be very isolating.
Counselling can help to set targets to help you engage with others and gradually be more active.