Couples counselling now available
Welcome to Tracy's Counselling Service
Here to listen to you, to hear your story, to work through problems; or to just be with you
Spaces available for couples/individuals
Welcome to my website
Hi, I am Tracy Paine. Feel free to browse.
I look forward to answering any questions you may have about counselling with me.
Can online counselling really help me?
Benefits of counselling
Benefits of Online Counselling:
Counselling provides a therapeutic space, where you can explore and express emotions and feelings freely. The online space is of course a little different than being in the same physical space; but this is still a therapeutic space. We can still connect and build meaningful relationships that enable counselling work to take place. In some ways this can actually enhance the process, as some of the inhibitions/embarrassment, that sometimes makes talking and opening up difficult, can feel less inhibiting. This can be even more powerful when this is one of the methods, where we cannot see each other. The online environment can also feel more equal, as we are in a shared virtual space, rather than the counsellors room. It also, of course, offers more flexibility, as there isn't a room space to hire/rent/share; in the same way as face to face services. Therefore I can be more responsive to changing circumstances e.g. like university life meaning time away from home and then time back at home; this would not matter with an online arrangement, in the way it would impact face to face counselling. This flexibility can be helpful in the current situation, with the pandemic and plans changing, with very little time to rearrange things.
Please note: I work to the standards and requirement of the law within the UK, therefore I am only able to work with individuals living in the UK. I regret I am unable to accept requests from individuals outside of the UK.
Benefits of Counselling - Face to Face and Online:
More specifically the counselling process can help with many issues and be supportive in many different situations.
Counselling can help in times of challenge and times of change:
Life can be highly enjoyable, but it can also be challenging; just by the sheer need to manage the constant changes that life brings. We are often left feeling unsure how to move forward, unsure what to do next. As we grow in our lives, we have to adjust to changing needs and expectations and this can be challenging for us. This process of constant change can lead to uncertainty, that can create feelings of anxiety, can affect our mood and levels of motivation.
These day to day challenges, can become even more difficult, when events happen in our lives, that are unexpected; adding further anxiety and uncertainty.
Counselling can help to support reflection on your life, life events and relationships:
Counselling can help you to look at how you feel about your life and the expectation that this brings. Looking at some of the values and beliefs you hold, considering where these have come from, considering if they are still helpful to you, can be useful. This can help you to understand your actions and feelings about issues and events. This can help you begin to consider what you might want to change, to enable life to be more satisfying for you and the people you care about.
Counselling can help you to process feelings and emotions:
Counselling can help you explore your feelings around events in your life, that can feel overwhelming. Often these feelings are being held in, because they feel dangerous and frightening; at least at a subconscious level. Counselling can help you to begin looking at these in a safe environment and at a safe pace. I will try and help you to get some strategies to help with emotional regulation and grounding, in the early sessions, so you then feel more confident about exploring the more powerful feelings together. Counselling can help you to make sense of your emotions, feelings and thoughts; which can help you to accept things in your life, make peace with the past, or it may help you choose to begin to change things in your life, that you can control.
Counselling can help you to care for yourself:
Counselling is a positive way to take care of yourself, by sharing your challenges and struggles, that are a normal part of living; in a positive, supportive, and non-judgemental relationship. Just as we need check ups for our physical health, before things get out of hand, we can also benefit from check-ins with a counsellor, for our emotional and psychological health.
In this current climate where Covid-19 is leaving us all feeling vulnerable and uncertain; counselling support is something that may be really helpful for many of us, now and afterwards, to deal with the aftermath of this global health emergency.
Couples Counselling
Online Couples Counselling now available.
Sometimes we can struggle in our relationships and feel unable to address this with our partners. This is where Couples Counselling can make a difference, as this provides a place for you both to have a clear focus; which is supported by an independent person. This is often a very practical solution-focused approach to counselling and the 'client' is your shared relationship.
How do you know if Couples Counselling is appropriate for you?
In individual 1-1 counselling the focus is on you and your needs are the key focus of the work. Often this can have a positive impact on our relationships, almost as a by-product of learning more about our own thoughts, feelings, needs and how to express these in daily life.
You may want to explore couples counselling as a distinct intervention, where you both recognise that there are issues that need to be explored around the relationship you share.
- Maybe the way you communicate is no longer working and you are not sure how to find a way back, to be able to communicate with each other again.
- Maybe you are planning to settle down or want to commit more to each other; but want to explore some elements, that you anticipate might prove to be challenging, going forward.
- Maybe you have decided to have children and are struggling to adjust to what this change means for your relationship with each other.
- Maybe you feel confused about your feelings about the other person and/or feel uncertain of their feelings about you.
- Maybe there is a lack of intimacy in the relationship and you are not sure how to tackle this.
In Couples work, as the counsellor, I can facilitate discussion and support you to talk to each other about the stuff that matters, within a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
Will there be 'homework'?
Couples Counselling is an active approach, where work on the relationship is needed in between sessions. So from the start I will be encouraging you to begin working hard for each other and for yourself. You are coming to me, I hope, because you want to see if things can be worked through; so your commitment to each other is demonstrated by signing up for this support. The sessions will be the focal point for reviewing the work you are doing together and looking at activities and exercises that may be helpful to you; as well as exploring what each of you feel are the issues that need to be addressed. So we may spend some time looking at the past and what has happened in the relationship. We may also look back to remind you of the reasons you got together in the first place. We will definitely be focused on the present and how this can be work that supports a clearer view of the future. Exploring your values may also be useful and possibly considering goals too. Each couple will be unique, so these are just ideas/suggestions to give you a flavour of what to expect from Couples Counselling.
Some common questions about counselling
How often will I need to have counselling and for how long?
I am often asked this question and the answer is, this will depend on you, your expectations and preferences, and the issue or need you have identified.
Traditionally counselling is arranged weekly, but I am aware from clients that this is not always what they want; or indeed feel they need.
I usually do not state a specific number of sessions that may be needed, when we start the process, or decide exactly how we will work, as I find this can change.
To support your evaluation, we will review the process together, at the end of each session and consider if you want to continue.
I feel strongly that this needs to be determined by you.
I can facilitate this review, through you evaluating your experience in the sessions and from this, assessing if it is working for you and meeting your needs.
Other Common Questions people ask
- Can you make it go away?
- Can you make me feel better?
- Can you tell me what's wrong with me?
- Can you get my partner/friend to see they need counselling?
The answer to these questions is that counselling can help you to move forward if you want to.
I cannot make you better........ but I can help you, to help yourself.
I can help to shed some light on what is going on for you and by understanding yourself, you can regain a sense of control.
Counselling aims to empower you; so you can build more self confidence, more resilience and more self awareness and help yourself to feel a little better, than you feel right now.
Counselling cannot be done to you or anyone you feel may need it.
It can be a challenging process, so needs to be right for you and that includes, being the right time for you.
We may need counselling, but we also need to feel ready for counselling.
Are you in need and feel ready to explore??
Then please send me a message using the contact me form or email/call me using the information below.
More information on the actual practice of counselling, can be found by clicking the button below:
Support services if you are in need of urgent support
What to do if you are in a crisis and need urgent support
Although counselling can be helpful, for a wide range of mental health issues, when you are feeling very overwhelmed, sometimes this is not enough, particularly where you are experiencing significant suicidal thoughts.
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, have a plan to act on these, feel unable to keep yourself safe now and/or in the near future, then more urgent support is needed. If this applies to you, then reach out to the following for help and advice:
24hr support services:
- Call your GP surgery or if this is out of hours then call 111 and explain you require help now to manage your mental health and well-being and be clear you are feeling suicidal. If you have acted on suicidal thoughts/harmed yourself then call 999 to access emergency care or attend your local A&E department.
- You can also call the Samaritans free on 116 123 if you are feeling suicidal or if you are in distress and need someone to listen. You can also find The Samaritans resources on Facebook.
Other useful support you can access online:
- Mind The Mental Health Charity have a range of information about mental health and mental illness as well as advice covering a wide range of issues. They also have blogs and people share their experiences, which can be helpful if you are feeling quite alone and/or isolated. They can be called on 0300 123 3393. They also have an Online Community that can be joined, to access peer support. Visit their website for more information at: https://www.mind.org.uk/
- If you are under 35 and are struggling with suicidal feelings and/or emotional distress then you call contact the Papyrus Helpline: HOPELINEUK on 0800 0684141 https://www.papyrus-uk.org/hopelineuk/ They operate from 9am-midnight daily.
- If you are under 25 then The Mix is a useful website where you can find some information about their support services and online activity. They also have a twitter feed. https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support
- For men there is the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) which can offer support. Open from 5pm-midnight every day. Call 0800 585858 or visit the website at: https://www.thecalmzone.net/
- For bereavement support you can contact the Cruse National Helpline on 0808 8081677 or go to their webpage: https://www.cruse.org.uk/
Other useful websites for information and support:
- Harmless www.harmless.org.uk/Harmless is a user led organisation that provides a range of services about self-harm and suicide prevention including support, information, training and consultancy to people who self-harm, their friends and families and professionals and those at risk of suicide. Harmless was set up by people who understand these issues and at the heart of our service is a real sense of hope. We know that with the right support and help life can get better.
- Beat | The UK's Eating Disorder Charity: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.ukThis has resources, a helpline and online forums.
- Family Lives: www.familylives.org.ukSupport and advice available, from the website or from calling the confidential helpline on 0808 800 2222. ‘You can contact us about any family issue, big or small. We listen, support and never judge’.
- Anxiety UK: Helpline: 03444 775 774 | Mon-Fri 9:30am - 5:30pm https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/helpline-email-text-live-chat-services/
- The Compassionate Friends Website - Supporting bereaved parents and their families: https://www.tcf.org.uk/
